I left a comment last night and I want to admit to myself and this group it was half assed.
CM, you deserve better from me. Everyone reading this does as each of us is moving toward an authentic sacred self.
I try to avoid getting stuck in my “story”, so I tend to hold back. After 30 years of introspection and finding the same patterns showing up in new colors, I’m a little bored with my story.
So what’s happening in present time? I am finding my way back to connection with my mother. I let her go three years ago and said, “what if this moment is the best this relationship ever gets?”
This question healed my relationship with my father, although it took ten years to make any “progress”
Grief? I am releasing a committed relationship with the finest human I have ever known. I am convinced S. was a powerful yogini in at least one lifetime.
The insights that have been revealed have seared my soul. This end was there in the beginning and I fell in love anyway.
Fell forward into it. The love is still there, but we both know we have to let go in order to grow.
So, I’m grieving this, and also dialoguing with a counselor doing more inner child work.
Always more.
With respect to anxiety and uncertainty about the out there and the negative imagined outcomes about an uncertain future, my coping practice is zhineng qi gong. Best holistic body mind work I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve tried a lot of modalities.
Thank you for indulging my long windedness, but like I said, you all deserve better. What’s being created here is important.
I appreciate your total transparency and not covering up the hard stuff or making this seem like it’s an all joyful ride … bc you’ve given ur life to God .. its bc of that .. that it’s hard
This concept connects to the shift from the materialization arc to the spiritual realization arc. As a planet and as human beings, we are not entirely solid or composed of matter. This is why esoteric education is so essential—it helps us understand what it means to transcend the material and move beyond mere physical form. What are the laws that govern this? The laws of the material world don’t always align with those of the spiritual realm. We are in a phase of spiritual awakening, but there are forces that seek to keep us entrenched in materialism, which I believe is tied to demonic influence. If we cease to be material, these lower beings can no longer exist within us. Perhaps CERN’s efforts were aimed at pushing humanity into a state of materialization to hinder the process of spiritual evolution.
Please keep pushing because I do see a light at the end of this tunnel and I genuinely look forward to listening to your knowledge, theories, and parallel ideas you have from this world that has become a hell on earth in many ways. You have my ultimate respect.
I hear everything you’re saying, as somebody who is labeled as “Neurodivergent” (gifted in my opinion) and suffer with several mental health conditions because of other people’s bad behaviour and bad choices, I hear you. Sending you a massive hug first of all. 2nd, after every event I hold in teaching or performing I always go into a week afterwards of paralysis, I get very overwhelmed by other peoples energies whether I meet them in person or if I’m talking to them online. I get so frustrated with myself because I’ve got so much to do but get stuck in freeze mode when I’m overcome with paralysis. Like today for example, I have to get my shadow workbook online for my customers, I’ve needed to do this for over a week, I’ve had zero motivation to do it, but today I’m being kind to myself, my body is aching terribly, so I’ve moved my office up to my bedroom and I’m laying in bed working. As a kind of reward to myself, to give myself the rest that I need but also be proactive while resting. Since I stopped working a nine till five job, and working for myself, motivation is an issue. Self discipline is very important but kindness is more important. Getting stuck in the past of heartbreak for my own mother puts me into freeze mode a lot, coming to the realization that there’s nothing I can do or have done wrong, she’s just a opinionated conditioned old lady who’s so stuck in her own way of thinking. It’s easier to believe to myself that she’s just possessed by this conditioning and it’s not her fault. That brings peace.
Other people’s bad behaviour man, fucks you up! Takes a lifetime to correct.
Us gifted people are magnets to terrible people because we are so giving and full of good intentions. Keep marching on to your own beat soldier ❤️ be kind to yourself x
What works for me in order to stay connected and deal with the forces that try to frustrate us, is to make music with friends once or twice a week. Yesterday evening, before hearing your message, we sang Leonard Cohen’s Sisters of Mercy:
In a culture designed to keep humans in a state of superficial , delusion of security, you chose the path of authenticity and truth. this is no small thing. it is an act of uncommon courage. creator did not put us here to deal in false realities. or to lie to ourselves for our own comfort. I am seeing young people choose this path more and more. if you can find the others, you may enjoy friendship and loyalty beyond your expectations. you are a spiritual adult, a diamond in a field of coal. i do have compassion for those who lie within themselves for attachments sake. it may be they no longer have the courage or the health to stand by their own river of truth deeply rooted, and when the world seems to say "move" they have not the strength to turn to it and say "no, you move" . this is creators reality and you are creators man. if more people could do what you are, we could have productive conversations about reality. to root out all contradictions and inconsistencies within the self, is the only real way forwards. that is the main requirement of a real leader.
Thank you for your courage and vulnerability, and I admire your determination. Looking forward to February as well. Grieving myself, so it will be well received. ✌️
Hear you sir…these are tough times and will get tougher … prayers for you and all… the dropping off of relationships is tough …if they go away it’s the way it’s supposed to be …making room for other things …
You will be light years ahead if you work towards getting the customer what they want, and avoid trying to sell them something that you think they need.
You have to play the hand you were dealt. The more you play it the more success you will have.
I love you brother I can relate to this a lot. Trauma combined with relationships weighs heavy and it’s hard to find the strength to let the emotions run their course when you can distract yourself with anything. I do the same with work and self sabotage to run away from the pain of having to deal with them which only makes it worse. I’m starting to mediate and self reflect and continue sobriety and it’s not easy but the other path leads to nowhere. It’s always going to be a work in progress for sure and I think it’s important to go easy on ourselves during reflection as well. I’ve walked 1000s of miles in the Arizona desert and started my healing journey only to fall back down into my old ways again. Life is such a great teacher as long as we have the eyes to see and the ears to hear I’m still way better than I once was but have a long way to go as well. I think it’s important to have people to talk to to get out of your own head whether it’s in person or online doesn’t matter. It’s easy to lose yourself in this world for sure and you gotta be pretty strong willed in order to not get possessed by the enemy as I imagine it would have happened to me by now all things considered.
What happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force?
I left a comment last night and I want to admit to myself and this group it was half assed.
CM, you deserve better from me. Everyone reading this does as each of us is moving toward an authentic sacred self.
I try to avoid getting stuck in my “story”, so I tend to hold back. After 30 years of introspection and finding the same patterns showing up in new colors, I’m a little bored with my story.
So what’s happening in present time? I am finding my way back to connection with my mother. I let her go three years ago and said, “what if this moment is the best this relationship ever gets?”
This question healed my relationship with my father, although it took ten years to make any “progress”
Grief? I am releasing a committed relationship with the finest human I have ever known. I am convinced S. was a powerful yogini in at least one lifetime.
The insights that have been revealed have seared my soul. This end was there in the beginning and I fell in love anyway.
Fell forward into it. The love is still there, but we both know we have to let go in order to grow.
So, I’m grieving this, and also dialoguing with a counselor doing more inner child work.
Always more.
With respect to anxiety and uncertainty about the out there and the negative imagined outcomes about an uncertain future, my coping practice is zhineng qi gong. Best holistic body mind work I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve tried a lot of modalities.
Thank you for indulging my long windedness, but like I said, you all deserve better. What’s being created here is important.
I appreciate your total transparency and not covering up the hard stuff or making this seem like it’s an all joyful ride … bc you’ve given ur life to God .. its bc of that .. that it’s hard
This concept connects to the shift from the materialization arc to the spiritual realization arc. As a planet and as human beings, we are not entirely solid or composed of matter. This is why esoteric education is so essential—it helps us understand what it means to transcend the material and move beyond mere physical form. What are the laws that govern this? The laws of the material world don’t always align with those of the spiritual realm. We are in a phase of spiritual awakening, but there are forces that seek to keep us entrenched in materialism, which I believe is tied to demonic influence. If we cease to be material, these lower beings can no longer exist within us. Perhaps CERN’s efforts were aimed at pushing humanity into a state of materialization to hinder the process of spiritual evolution.
Rest brother..be gentle on yourself.
Please keep pushing because I do see a light at the end of this tunnel and I genuinely look forward to listening to your knowledge, theories, and parallel ideas you have from this world that has become a hell on earth in many ways. You have my ultimate respect.
you have helped me so much thank you for your total honesty and showing that you are human. that i am not alone
I hear everything you’re saying, as somebody who is labeled as “Neurodivergent” (gifted in my opinion) and suffer with several mental health conditions because of other people’s bad behaviour and bad choices, I hear you. Sending you a massive hug first of all. 2nd, after every event I hold in teaching or performing I always go into a week afterwards of paralysis, I get very overwhelmed by other peoples energies whether I meet them in person or if I’m talking to them online. I get so frustrated with myself because I’ve got so much to do but get stuck in freeze mode when I’m overcome with paralysis. Like today for example, I have to get my shadow workbook online for my customers, I’ve needed to do this for over a week, I’ve had zero motivation to do it, but today I’m being kind to myself, my body is aching terribly, so I’ve moved my office up to my bedroom and I’m laying in bed working. As a kind of reward to myself, to give myself the rest that I need but also be proactive while resting. Since I stopped working a nine till five job, and working for myself, motivation is an issue. Self discipline is very important but kindness is more important. Getting stuck in the past of heartbreak for my own mother puts me into freeze mode a lot, coming to the realization that there’s nothing I can do or have done wrong, she’s just a opinionated conditioned old lady who’s so stuck in her own way of thinking. It’s easier to believe to myself that she’s just possessed by this conditioning and it’s not her fault. That brings peace.
Other people’s bad behaviour man, fucks you up! Takes a lifetime to correct.
Us gifted people are magnets to terrible people because we are so giving and full of good intentions. Keep marching on to your own beat soldier ❤️ be kind to yourself x
What works for me in order to stay connected and deal with the forces that try to frustrate us, is to make music with friends once or twice a week. Yesterday evening, before hearing your message, we sang Leonard Cohen’s Sisters of Mercy:
Yes, you who must leave everything
That you cannot control
It begins with your family,
But soon it comes round to your soul
Well I've been where you're hanging
I think I can see how you're pinned
When you're not feeling holy
Your loneliness says that you've sinned
In a culture designed to keep humans in a state of superficial , delusion of security, you chose the path of authenticity and truth. this is no small thing. it is an act of uncommon courage. creator did not put us here to deal in false realities. or to lie to ourselves for our own comfort. I am seeing young people choose this path more and more. if you can find the others, you may enjoy friendship and loyalty beyond your expectations. you are a spiritual adult, a diamond in a field of coal. i do have compassion for those who lie within themselves for attachments sake. it may be they no longer have the courage or the health to stand by their own river of truth deeply rooted, and when the world seems to say "move" they have not the strength to turn to it and say "no, you move" . this is creators reality and you are creators man. if more people could do what you are, we could have productive conversations about reality. to root out all contradictions and inconsistencies within the self, is the only real way forwards. that is the main requirement of a real leader.
Did I hear a low key Montgomery reference?!
Thank you for your courage and vulnerability, and I admire your determination. Looking forward to February as well. Grieving myself, so it will be well received. ✌️
Hear you sir…these are tough times and will get tougher … prayers for you and all… the dropping off of relationships is tough …if they go away it’s the way it’s supposed to be …making room for other things …
Your business starts when you get a customer.
You will be light years ahead if you work towards getting the customer what they want, and avoid trying to sell them something that you think they need.
You have to play the hand you were dealt. The more you play it the more success you will have.
AKA “sell your soul” 😉
I love you brother I can relate to this a lot. Trauma combined with relationships weighs heavy and it’s hard to find the strength to let the emotions run their course when you can distract yourself with anything. I do the same with work and self sabotage to run away from the pain of having to deal with them which only makes it worse. I’m starting to mediate and self reflect and continue sobriety and it’s not easy but the other path leads to nowhere. It’s always going to be a work in progress for sure and I think it’s important to go easy on ourselves during reflection as well. I’ve walked 1000s of miles in the Arizona desert and started my healing journey only to fall back down into my old ways again. Life is such a great teacher as long as we have the eyes to see and the ears to hear I’m still way better than I once was but have a long way to go as well. I think it’s important to have people to talk to to get out of your own head whether it’s in person or online doesn’t matter. It’s easy to lose yourself in this world for sure and you gotta be pretty strong willed in order to not get possessed by the enemy as I imagine it would have happened to me by now all things considered.
What happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force?
Until only love remains
-Ziggy