Every Aeon has its Cross to Bear

I stared at that old cross 

that rises up into the sky

piercing the firmament and passing through stars,

diving into the deep waters above

& pummeling into Heaven.

---

Right on time

On the seventh.

Please be quiet,

God is resting.

---

I place my hand upon the petrified wood.

Looking up, I fall over from some sense of awe.

I fall over like I’m Rome

for the One True God,

Vertigo.

---

I catch my fall with shaking hands.

They dirty in the soil 

and blood 

that still pours from the beam

and fills 

the Earth 

like a red sea of salvation,

emptying in to a lake of fire.

---

I wonder if the Romans washed the hands of Christ before they drove the nails in. 

Like the way they sterilize the skin before they give the lethal injection to an inmate named Jesus.

I wonder why no one can understand how they’re the same.

---

I wonder if the guy that plunges that needle still wears a black hood like the old days of execution.

I wonder what that executioner does when he goes home. 

I wonder what kind of food he can stomach after a fresh kill.

I wonder if he’s married. 

I wonder if he kisses his wife like he means it.

I wonder if he has children. 

I wonder if he ever wonders if they’ll ever be sentenced to death. 

I wonder if he ever wonders about plunging the needle into their skin.

I wonder if he ever wonders about what he does for a living.

Or I wonder if he sits alone at night in a one bedroom apartment with a tv dinner or day old pizza slice watching a rerun of a Yankee game on the YES network not even sure how he ended up in the orange and green speckles recliner or how long he had been sitting there in the first place.

---

As one day bleeds into the next,

and millennia do the same.

Slaughtered lambs

Bloody eyes

Blurry vision

Sinful tithes.

A cover-up of the ages.

O’ greatest gilded cages.

---

I wonder if the Romans ever realized they fucked up.

I wonder if they ever realized they always would.

---

Still, I wondered…

Why the grass is green and not blue

Why the rainbows are curved and not straight

Why I wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I’m far from home

Why 9 foot spirits look over me while I sleep

Why black eyed creatures want my soul to keep

Why Cain killed Abel

How Moses parted the Red Sea

Why Jesus did it,

knowing what would happen

I wonder if we’d ever go back to Eden, if we knew what it really was.

I wondered and I wondered and I wondered and I wondered and I wondered and I wondered and I wondered.

---

Until he showed me and said.

“Sorry in advance,

for you did not know,

what there was to know,

when you asked to know.”

And now

I am plagued 

with the wisdom that robbed Christ of a gentle entry into Heaven.

I am plagued

with this weight 

like a giant awkward piece of wood

that I can barely carry.

This heavy burden.

That no one else could ever carry for me.

That no one else would ever carry with me.

I guess that’s the price

to pay

And the cross

to bear

To suffer so perfectly,

for God,

Almighty,

Amen.

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