Unidentified Flying Assholes from Outer Space: The Many Faced Gods
Part I: How Supernatural Entities Deceive Us Through Changing Backstories and Costumes
A Cover-Up for a Cover-Up
Unfortunately, the new craze of government employees “risking their lives and livelihoods” to disclose the truth about the UAP phenomenon for “the good of the people” is just another act. People like Christopher Mellon, David Grusch, and Louie Elizondo are likely intelligence assets meant to create and control the narrative. What you’re seeing on CNN — and even C-SPAN — is a fake disclosure.
This time, instead of weather balloons and swamp gas, it’s four-foot-tall recreational proctologists from Zeta Reticula. You might be thinking: weren’t the old cover-up stories meant to conceal the truth that aliens exist? The short answer is no, probably not. The long answer is, it’s a bit more complicated.
In this first act of my new series on the high strangeness of supernatural phenomena, I’m going to explain exactly what’s so complicated about it. I can almost guarantee that once you’re done reading, you won’t be so sure it’s aliens from outer space either.
The first thing you need to understand is that lights in the sky and strange non-human (yet human-like) entities have been a part of the human experience for centuries, maybe even millennia. Except it hasn’t always been the little greys or the tall Nordics. The appearance of greys and Nordics is a relatively new phenomenon, considering the extensive history of these types of encounters.
Before aliens, it was elves, genies, the gods and other strange characters. Strangely enough, although their appearances and stories have changed dramatically, their core behaviors have remained remarkably the same. This should immediately make you reconsider the extraterrestrial origins theory. I argue that we shouldn’t be asking which planet they come from. We should be asking more profound questions about their real identity and composition.
Getting Your Passport to Magonia
The above picture is the cover to Jacque Vallee’s seminal work, “Passport to Magonia.” If you find the idea posed in this article intriguing, I highly suggest reading this book. A free version of the audiobook can be found here (It’s actually surprisingly high quality for YouTube).
In his book, Jacque takes us on a compelling detective story through human history, studying contact cases that span a thousand years and span the entire globe. Strange little people with their signature, oversized eyes, wreaking havoc on human beings, our livestock and pets and the collective human psyche.
“Magonia” actually comes from an eyewitness testimony where the person involved asked the entity where they came from. The entity explained they were Magonians, who lived in castles in the sky and high mountains. This was, of course, before humans could readily get to either of these places. A convenient back story for these supposed Magonians and a consistent characteristic of contact experiences that this article will highlight.
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The Many Faced Gods
If there's one thing that becomes abundantly clear when studying entity encounters, it's that these beings appear to be running an elaborate charade. The stage changes, the costumes transform, but the performance remains eerily consistent.
It’s important to note here that what we're witnessing isn't just random hallucination or misidentification on the eyewitnesses’ part—it's a pattern so consistent, coming from the testimony of very reliable people (respected members of the community, policemen, judges and even soon-to-be presidents of the United States) that it becomes impossible to brush it all off as mere fantasy.
These entities consistently present themselves in ways that put them just beyond our reach, just beyond our understanding, and just beyond our ability to prove their existence conclusively.
Let me walk you through how this charade has evolved throughout history in the Western world (We will explore other traditions and regions in the future), as our little flying assholes manage to stay one slight step ahead of human understanding and reach at every turn.
The First Mask: The Gentry (500-1700 CE)
In medieval Europe, through the early modern period, the dominant narrative involved "the gentry" or the "fairy folk" who lived in hollow hills, mounds, and cave systems. Celtic traditions across Ireland, Scotland, and Wales described these beings in remarkable detail, with witnesses providing consistent accounts of their appearance, behaviors, and capabilities.
These fairy encounters became so common that people developed sophisticated systems of protection and interaction, with protocols for avoiding abduction or minimizing harm from the “Good People.”
The gentry were typically described as "diminutive folk" standing 2-4 feet tall, with some sub-groups standing at about human height or slightly taller. They claimed to live in elaborate underground kingdoms accessible through specific hills, mounds, or cave entrances, where they often abducted humans for various purposes including breeding, servitude, entertainment, medical care, and child-rearing.
Their fairy circles and kingdoms in the caves caused time dilation, where a night in their realm might equate to years in the human world. It's important to reiterate: these weren't treated as superstition, but as practical knowledge necessary for survival in regions where such encounters were frequent.
Some poor bastard dancing in a fairy circle with the little people
These entities demonstrated an unusual interest in human reproduction and bloodlines, and possessed magical capabilities of controlling and transforming matter and energy in ways that were absolutely incomprehensible to witnesses. They could produce gold in large quantities out of thin air and keep food stores magically full for the people they favored.
They were thought to be aerial spirits who could move like the wind, comprised of a more subtle or "light" physical composition. The gentry showed unusual vulnerability to iron, which could repel and injure them. They were probably most known for their fairy circles or rings; circular patterns in high grass and crops marked their activity or presence with many accounts reporting people disappearing from sight if they stepped into such rings. Remind you of anything?
When humans began seriously exploring cave systems during the Renaissance and Enlightenment periods, suddenly the fair folk became more reclusive, with narratives emerging that they were "going away" for a time and would return for the "final judgment"—conveniently retreating as we developed the ability to verify their claimed habitations.
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